Have you lived a life of ups and downs and realized that life with your ex was over, that he or she had moved on, but you have not yet to do so?
Whatever kind of relationship you have had in your life, you need to tell the story again. You may have something that is sad or is traumatic for you where you have been left and felt like the victim where your ex is the one that broke your heart. Maybe they didn’t even want to give the relationship a real chance.
Change the story so you become the one in power. Maybe you both tried your best and you had a lot of good laughs and good times and you tried to think over and over what worked. You fought for your relationship to work, forgave them, ended it, decided it was best to be back together and then maybe you even called the relationship to an end for good.
You gave it your all, your ex gave it their all, but it never would quite work out. It wasn’t because you guys didn’t try but it was that both of you were different, had different ideas and goals. Maybe you realized you just didn’t fit well together. Together you both grew, and you became better people, but just better people on your own.
If you can change the way that you see your relationship of the past with your ex, the better you will be able to move forward.
Blame and Resentment
Once you let the relationship be in the past and decide to let it go, chances are you are still holding a grudge against your ex. Maybe you feel like you were broken, angry, hurt, betrayed, used or other negative feelings that your ex left you feeling.
If you want to move on, you have to learn to let go of these feelings. You are not going to be able to release these feelings unless you choose to have peace and to move forward in your life. Get rid of your anger and your resentment and start living for yourself.
Even if you feel that your ex was the reason that the relationship did not work out, if you feel that you deserve to get revenge on them or that you want the universe to have its revenge, you are not the one that is in control of this.
Everyone makes mistakes, even your ex. If you want to get rid of your anger and resentment, the first step is that you have to learn to forgive both your ex and yourself. You have to let go of the past problems that you have had and the things that have hurt you.
Forgive yourself and allow yourself to have peace.
Focus on the positives of your past relationship. Focus on how much better you are doing and how far ahead you have come in your life.
Even if your marriage was hard and your divorce was even harder, reflect on how much you grew during your relationship, what you learned about who you are and the new person that you became.
You can choose to be sad and depressed or you can learn to appreciate the things that you learned in the relationship. Maybe you don’t want the pain but at least you were able to improve yourself and become a better version of you.
How Far You Came
Comparing yourself to what your ex is doing might cause you to feel bad and feel that they have gotten a better deal than you. When you want to compare things, make sure you compare from where you were before and where you are now.
Maybe you were stuck in an unhealthy relationship, one that was emotional and hurtful. Maybe you were in a bad career or had a lot of bad baggage attached to you.
No matter what happened to you in the past, your ex helped you to become a new person, to make and reach new goals and to do things in life that you never thought that you would do. Maybe you feel like your ex has it so good, but you do not want to be your ex and remember that you are not living the bad past that you used to be living.
You cannot change what happened with your ex or what happened in your past. You cannot take back mistakes that you made, words that you said or things that you did wrong. There is no reason to regret what you have done and to be disappointed by your failures. You cannot do anything to change these things.
The only thing that you can change is what happens today. Make today something great. Create a life that you want in this moment and change your perspective. Make choices that help you to grow and help you to have the life that you want. Move past your past and have hope to see a better future.
One of the hardest things about breaking up is that you are not certain in where life is going to take you. When you are in a marriage, you have a different mindset, a different location and people identify you as that person. You find you spend all of your free time with your spouse or your partner and then after you break up, things become uncertain. You are not sure what you should do and being uncertain can be hard.
Situations that are not known can be exciting and are not meant to hold you back. Find things that are new and embrace it.
Imagine Your Life
It is easy to get stuck in what you are doing in life when you focus on things such as your ex. Instead of taking time to figure what you want, you choose to stay stuck and to not move forward in your life.
Imagine what you want in your life and what kind of goals that you have. Imagine what it would take to create a life that can make you happy and give you what you want.
If you imagine things in your life and be creative in what you do, you can see that by taking care of you and stop living in the past that you can start taking steps to have a life that you really desire. Your imagination can be your reality if you work hard at making it happen.
Do you want to have a better life? To be happy and peaceful? If you answered yes to that, let go of your past and move forward to reach your dreams and your aspirations.