If your child is being bullied, their safety and support come first. Crying, looking away, freezing or struggling to respond does not make the bullying their fault. A child should not have to perform confidence or win a confrontation to deserve protection.
Begin by listening to what has happened and checking what your child needs to feel safer now. You can involve the school or organisation, keep a record and follow up on the response. The responsibility for addressing bullying belongs with adults as well as the people carrying it out.
On this page
1. Listen without blame
Choose a moment when you can give your attention. Try, “I am glad you told me. What has been happening?” Let your child explain in their own words, with breaks if needed. Avoid turning the first conversation into an interrogation or demanding that they recall every detail in order.
Ask about the behaviour, where it happens and whether they feel safe returning. You might say, “Is there a part of the day you are worried about?” or “Who is nearby when it happens?” Write down important details afterward if that is less distracting than taking notes while they speak.
Changes in sleep, school attendance, mood or physical complaints can have different causes. They are reasons to check in and seek appropriate support, rather than proof of bullying on their own. A child may also be experiencing harm without showing the signs you expect.
StopBullying.gov’s guidance on supporting children involved in bullying emphasises listening, avoiding blame and working together on protection. Reassure your child that you will take the concern seriously, while being honest that you may need help from other adults.
2. Make a practical safety plan
Ask which adults and places feel safest. Together, choose who your child can approach during class, breaks, travel or an activity. Use a specific name and location where possible, plus another option if the first person is unavailable.
Practise a short request for help if your child wants to: “I need help. Someone is threatening me near the lockers.” They could also write a note, use an agreed signal or speak with an adult alongside you. Clear speech and eye contact are not requirements for being believed or helped.
A brief “Stop” may be an option in a situation where your child feels safe, but it is not a duty or a test of courage. Moving toward adults or other safer company can be more useful than confronting someone. Do not ask your child to fight back or prove that insults cannot upset them.
For an immediate threat or serious injury, seek urgent local help. For ongoing situations, arrange adult supervision and practical protection before relying on a promise that the behaviour will stop. Include your child’s views without making them responsible for designing the whole response.
3. Work with the school and follow up
Keep a simple record of dates, places, the behaviour described, any witnesses and whom you contacted. Separate what your child reported from what you saw yourself. A short factual account can make a discussion with staff more focused than trying to prove what every person intended.
Contact an appropriate teacher, safeguarding lead, counsellor or school leader. Explain what happened and ask who will coordinate the response. For example: “My child reports repeated name-calling on the bus. What supervision or reporting arrangement can be put in place, and when will we review it?”
Ask for a practical follow-up date and a way to report further incidents. If the first response does not address the concern, use the school’s published escalation process. StopBullying.gov’s help guide lists school contacts and reporting routes in the United States; procedures differ by location.
Discuss protection and access to learning rather than demanding private information about another child’s punishment. Avoid arranging a confrontation with the other child or their family yourself. Your child does not need to agree to a face-to-face reconciliation in order for the adults to address the behaviour.
4. Respond to online bullying
If messages or posts are involved, save relevant evidence where it is safe and appropriate: the date, account name, link and a screenshot. Keep the record private. Do not repost hurtful material to gather support or encourage others to contact the children involved.
Use the platform’s reporting and blocking tools, and review account privacy with your child. Where school peers are involved, tell the school as well. Threats, stalking or other serious conduct may also need advice from appropriate local services; the platform report is not the only possible route.
Explain the steps before making changes where you can. A child may worry that telling you means losing all access to friends or activities online. Discuss what makes contact safer and what help they need, rather than treating disclosure as a reason for punishment.
5. Keep support going
Check back after the first report. Ask what has changed, whether the plan is usable and whether anything has moved to another place or account. If your child says the problem continues, return to the adults responsible with the updated information and request another response.
Protect ordinary sources of connection and enjoyment. A trusted friend, a welcoming club or time doing something they choose can matter alongside the formal response. StopBullying.gov’s prevention guidance includes regular conversations and supportive activities; these complement adult action rather than make a child responsible for preventing harm.
If the experience is affecting your child’s daily life or they want more help, ask about suitable support through school or a qualified local professional. Keep the message consistent: “You deserve to be safe. We will keep working on this with you.” You can acknowledge that it is difficult without promising a quick fix.