Should you stay together for the kids

It is not a new concept to stay in a relationship so that the children don’t have to be upset.  Is this a wise choice?

Divorce, particularly when there are children to consider, is a difficult decision to make.  Divorce is a stressful and ugly time of life for everyone involved.   And it doesn’t help that divorce tends to bring out the absolute worst in people.  Hurt and anger take control and it is hard to decide what is most important for the children.

This situation requires that both parties work on they issues and marriage before deciding to divorce.  This may include getting counseling and do some research with each other. Work on the marriage and this investment can help the whole family.

But, staying together is not always necessarily better on the children than divorce.   Parents in conflict just spread their unhappiness to everyone. It is also modeling poor behaviors for you children.  From your behavior they will see how to deal with conflict and treat family members.  If this is negative, your children are just having the same message replayed over and over until it is part of their future and destiny.

If a couple decides to divorce and they choose to handle the dissolution of their marriage with maturity and with the best interest of all parties, the chances are that the children in this partnership can happily survive. It is not the fact of divorce that hurts the children. It is the environment of the divorce that directly affects them.  If parents remain civil and friendly and don’t allow themselves to speak ill of their former spouse, the children can grow up just as well adjusted as children in households without divorce.

If you stay together for the kids, make sure you not setting the course for self-destruct.